A Year of Refinement

What a year 2020 has been.

From an ongoing pandemic to racial injustice to an INSANE election, this year has been full of a lot of challenges across the globe and personally. This year, I navigated challenges like leaving my college friends and finishing my final year of college at home, graduating, job searching in the midst of a challenging job market due to the pandemic, not being able to attend church in-person, etc.,

It was easy for me, like most people, to write off this year as a dumpster fire and wish it to be over (which I still do ), but then God brought these lyrics from Refiner by Maverick City Music (one of my favorite songs and worship groups) to my mind:

"I want to be tried by fire, purified."

Often, I would sing those lyrics without really thinking what they truly meant, but God has shown me that He did just that this year using the challenges described above. Going through trials is not fun, but God does not waste them. James 1:2-4 says this: "

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

I also thought about what it means to refine something. Here are two definitions that come up when you google the word "refine":

• "remove impurities or unwanted elements from (a substance), typically as part of an industrial process."

• "improve (something) by making small changes, in particular make (an idea, theory, or method) more subtle and accurate."

This year has reminded me that God uses our trials to refine things in us. Here are a few things God has refined in me this year:

1.) My perception of His character

God reminded me this year during multiple quiet times with Him that His character is not dependent on my circumstances. God is good and faithful even if I can't see in the moment. When I would fix my eyes on my circumstances, mainly my difficulties finding a different job in the midst of a pandemic. I found it difficult at times to believe it, but it became abundantly clear when I fixed my eyes on Him and who He says He is. I would be reminded of His goodness and faithfulness in the little things or things we often take for granted, like waking up, already having a job in the middle of a pandemic (even if it's one I didn't envision continuing to have after I graduated college), and warm, sunny days.

2. ) My hope

God made it very clear to me that, time and time again this year, I had misplaced my hope in the wrong things, mainly during the election. While I did vote and wanted one candidate to win over the other, I was reminded not only that I shouldn't be putting my hope in whoever is in the White House, but why I shouldn't. Politicians are human. They are flawed. They will disappoint me. Presidents come and go, but Jesus reigns forever. The things of this world are temporary and fleeting, but He is eternal. and will never disappoint me. God reminded me that I can indeed put my hope in Him because of those reasons.

3.) My thought life

Isolation mixed with the challenges of this year, for me, were a breeding ground for negative thoughts and lies, which I noticed made my mental health suffer. During this time, I read a book centered around taking your thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). I was reminded that negative thoughts and lies will come, but I don't have to let them take root. I can combat the lies with the Truth (the Word of God). I've noticed that as was being more intentional with combatting these lies, my mental health started to get better. There were days (and will be days in the future) throughout the year that my mental health suffered and lies came, but I know that I have a choice not to dwell on them and let them take root.

I don't know what 2021 will hold. Maybe it'll be a repeat of 2020. Maybe it won't. But I know Who holds 2021 and that is enough for me. I'm choosing to believe the best is yet to come.